They Tried to Make Me Go to Rehab...
I said, "Yes, yes, yes!"
Since I'm in pain and usin' a cane, I guess, guess, guess
I should make the time, cuz no one thinks I'm fine
They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I'm a mess, mess, mess

I'd rather be kissin' Zack's cheeks
I ain't got too many weeks
'Cause there's no cure
No cure you can give me
That's what I heard from Dr. Siddi-i-ique

I try to show a lot of class
But I keep on fallin' flat on my ass

They tryin' to make me go to rehab
I said, "Yes, yes, yes!"
Since I'm in pain and usin' a cane, I guess, guess, guess
I should make the time, cuz no one thinks I'm fine
They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I'm a mess, mess, mess

The man said, "Why you think you here?"
I said, "I hurt in my rear
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my balance
So I always keep a walker near"
(He) said, "I'm just so damn impressed
That you even manage to get dressed"

They tryin' to make me go to rehab
I said, "Yes, yes, yes!"
Since I'm in pain and usin' a cane, I guess, guess, guess

I'm not ever gonna run again
I just, oooh I just hate my limbs
But I'm gonna spend these weeks
Do everything I can to try to mend

It's not just my pride
It's just cuz my neurons died

They tryin' to make me go to rehab
I said, "Yes, yes, yes!"
Since I'm in pain and usin' a cane, I guess, guess, guess
I should make the time, cuz no one thinks I'm fine
They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I'm a mess, mess, mess

(With apologies to Amy Winehouse)

Can I Still Walk 2 Miles?
Uh-oh, my Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook not so good"...

But hey, I'm going to give it a shot again anyway at this year's Walk4Life (Sept. 12 at Montrose Harbor in Chicago), and whether I can make it or not, I'm going to celebrate the fact that I'm still here and giving it my most stubborn all!

Won't you please consider joining me and doing something--anything!--to encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other?

I'm thinking you could walk ahead of me and wave a big Cubs "W" flag to motivate me to keep pushing on to try to grab it and stomp it...or you could carry a frosty, salt-rimmed margarita and a fresh dish of chunky guacamole and chips just beyond my reach (and maybe even taunt me by scooping a mouth-watering glob of guacamole on a chip and savoring it right in front of me, leaving a maddening little dab of avocado-y goodness right at the corner of your mouth)...or how about getting your hands on the draft of the next George R.R. Martin book and reading tantalizing excerpts in a hushed tone of voice just out of my earshot...

C'mon, I'm sure you can think of other ways to torment/motivate me, and the best part is, you can indulge your most sadistic impulses and it's all for a good cause!!!

Seriously, please check your calendar, and if you have anything else scheduled for Saturday, September 12, at 10 a.m., call whoever you need to call to cancel and say, "Look, I'd really love to help you wash your hair/clean your air ducts/make a macramé purse, but my friend Aimee needs me even more that day...can we reschedule?"

Because it's true: I need you. I need you to be there if you possibly can. I need you to throw all your strength, all your positive thoughts, all your good vibes, all your energy into pushing me (figuratively, please) across that finish line. I need you to supply every ounce of motivation you can possibly muster to keep me plodding along for as many painful steps as it takes. I barely, barely, barely, hung on last year, and I need you to tell me I can. do. this.

I just asked my Magic 8-Ball, "If enough of my friends and family come out to support me, motivate me, taunt me, coax me, push me, threaten me, and encourage me, then can I make it the 2 miles?" and it said, "Signs point to yes"...

Sign Up Now!!!

(more of a guilt trip on this--and free massages!--on the Walk4Life 2009 page)

"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth..."
With those immortal words, Lou Gehrig bid farewell to the Yankees, 60,000+ adoring fans, and Major League Baseball 70 years ago today in an emotional ceremony honoring baseball's Iron Horse.

Today, MLB commemorates that iconic moment at all of the fifteen ballparks that are hosting today's games, paying tribute a man who faced adversity with grace, courage, and enormous strength.

We are thrilled to be in Cincinnati and looking forward to what will surely be a moving tribute--and an enormous boost to raising awareness about ALS and Gehrig's heroic battle.